I have hurt myself

You know, it's tough to admit doing stupid things. It's even tougher when the target of my stupidity is me! I believe that many times I deceive myself by thinking I haven't hurt myself as badly as I really have. I may say (in my deception), "It's really not that bad" or (in my pride), "I can take it." But the truth is I've hurt myself.

We all hurt ourselves at one point or another. We lash out at our sinful thoughts and actions. We may develop addictive patterns that wound emotionally or physically. We even beat ourselves up for missing opportunities to do good. Sometimes our worst enemy is staring back at us in the mirror. How can we live in peace, freedom, and grace? How do we move from self-abuse to self-esteem? The same way we originally came to Christ: humbly.

I remained in my self-abusive state for 13 years, enslaved to a sexual addiction. I was freed when (among other things) I acknowledged my self-inflicted wounds. It's been tough to look at myself sometimes. There are blemishes, scars, seeping wounds, many of which placed there by my own hands. When I cried out for relief, for help, I hastily passed over the grace I needed to offer myself. I was quick to receive God's grace and love, but slow, even stiffly reluctant, to accept forgiveness from myself. I expected God to free me, but my experience of His forgiveness reaches only as far as I am willing to forgive myself.

I know I've hurt myself through my sin and self-centeredness. But I also know that I can press on because when I acknowledge my true self before God I am cleansed, healed, and set free - truly free.

Look in the mirror. God forgave that person...will you?

Walking in grace,

jonathan