The Pity of Pretense

Very few people live unpretentious lives. I admit I am often one of them.

I walk around hiding various-sized secrets that have the potential to eat away at my life from the inside out. Like a worm to an apple my hidden thoughts and deeds weave their way toward my heart and nibble away at the core of my being. Most often it isn't "big" stuff that creeps in. A twinge of envy, a hint of pride, a dash of selfishness, all hidden safely behind the veneer of Christian piety. But the secrets cannot stay hidden forever.

I used to cringe in fear at the thought of having my heart exposed. The proposition of others seeing its potential for self-centered action was unbearable to me. But I'm changing. I realize that transparency, in all it's painful nakedness, is actually my greatest asset to being the man God wants me to be. It is in the light that I am walking closest to God. Sure it's tough to be exposed to the periodic shame and embarrassment of walking according to my flesh, but it is in such humility I am reminded of the precious, undeserved gift of God's grace and I am once again drawn to the Light.

I have to admit, living without pretense is also a great motivator to walk in purity and righteousness. After all, if all my secrets are out in the open I am much less inclined to add to their number for all the world to see. Transparency keeps me sharp and attentive to what I allow into my mind. Conversely, when I live secretively I am prone to spiritual laziness, not paying attention to the harmful thoughts and ideas swirling about.

It is sad to see so many walking in pretense, slowly suffocating in the darkness of their hidden lives. I pray that I will live my life as an open book, and in so doing draw out many who hunger for the peace and joy only found in the Light.

Seeking the Light,

jonathan