Why I Am Not God...and Other Comforting Thoughts

Thank God that I am not Him. Really, you should thank Him for this.

I was driving around town yesterday taking care of some errands when an announcement came over the radio that an online child pornography "business" was being shut down and its operators prosecuted. Then they reported something that nearly caused me to have a wreck out of disgust and anguish. You see, part of this online child porn ring included videos of abuse occurring on children younger than 18 months old. My gut wretched at such horrific news.

I turned off the radio, and as tears began to well up in my eyes for these innocent, abused children, I whispered to God that it was good that I am not Him. My anger burned hot against these sexual predators. I asked God how He could withhold His wrath from men like these. How could He stand silent as these abusers performed their horrible acts of violation on these precious, young children? I whispered these thoughts of pain and confusion throughout the remainder of my day.

God hasn't specifically answered my questions... yet. But He did remind me of something that I far too often fail to remember: I am no less broken and in need of God's grace than those child abusers. Oh, I like to see myself in a different light, placing myself 'higher up the chain' of degenerates, but the truth remains: I need God's grace just as much as anyone else.

It's hard for me to look at men like those involved in this child porn business and not think of myself as "better" than they are. I cringe and wince at the idea of God showing mercy and forgiveness to them for such acts of brutality and perversion. I want God to strike those men dead, with no hope of redemption. But to damn men so is to assume a role I was never intended to have. I am not God.

I don't understand why God chooses to show mercy to those who are unmerciful or kindness and grace to the cruel. But I do know this: He has shown mercy and grace to me; a needy, selfish, and sometimes cruel human being. While I may not behave the same as those abusive men, my sin is no 'better' than theirs...

Aren't you thankful that I am not God?

I am...

jonathan