Death on the Fence!

I conducted a workshop recently for men struggling with sexually addictive behaviors. During the course of the workshop a man approached me to share his story. He originally didn't want to come because he was in the middle of an affair and didn't know if he wanted to give up his mistress. And he still wasn't sure what he wanted to do. I could see the anguish in his eyes as he shared. He was tense, downcast, and emotionally exhausted. He was really struggling with this decision. He was on the fence.

The next day this same man approached me, but he didn't look like the same guy. He looked rested, relaxed, and there was even a smile on his face. He told me he made the decision to end the relationship with his mistress and give his marriage a second chance. I could visibly see the relief in him for "getting off the fence." It was as if life had re-entered him and he had renewed purpose.

Many of us go through life riding the fence. We fear commitment. We are indecisive. Shame, doubt, and insecurity require that we precariously balance on the fence between abundant life and spiritual death. Some of us assume that because of our relationship with God through Christ we are "guaranteed" a life of ease and entitlement. But believer or not, we have choices to make. Every day. And these choices, if left undecided, perch us squarely "on the fence."

I am becoming more convinced than ever that passivity and indecisiveness are two of the most destructive characteristics we can adopt. Our passivity leads to moral relativity and our unwillingness to make hard choices nudges us closer and closer to self-centered, "comfort-driven" lifestyles. But to drift in such a direction is to give up the prospect of real contentment and instead fall headlong into bitterness, delusion and self-pity.

The Bible says that it is the truth that sets us free. So, how do you get off the fence of passivity and indecision? You seek truth and then act on it. This guy at the workshop was introduced (or re-introduced) to the truth that God made marriage a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman. This means that when the relationship doesn't fit into the "comfort zone" of one spouse, you don't bail out. If this man grasps the truth, "What God has joined together, let no man separate," he can push through to reap the benefits of peace, joy, and real intimacy in his marriage. But as long as he was on the fence such benefits were impossible to receive, and he was slowly wasting away to nothing.

How about you? Are you on the fence over some decision(s) in your life? I challenge you to seek the truth with all your heart and when you find it... jump toward it.

Off the fence,

jonathan