Facing the Prison (of Lust)

The following article is another excerpt from my working manuscript of The 4 Pillars of Purity: Principles for Freedom from Lust and Shame.

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The goal of freedom from lust and shame is intimacy with God. I will go into more detail concerning this point in Part III, but for now I want to explore the importance of knowing where you are before attempting to get where you are going.

Many sexually broken people reach the bottom and finally admit they need help. In their genuine zeal for wanting to change lifelong habits of sexual sin, they only ask questions concerned about where they want to go. Such questions may sound like,

“What program do I need to plug into to stop my compulsive masturbation?”

“What Internet filtering software do I need to install on my computer to eliminate my problem with online pornography?” 1

“What medication will fix my problems with depression and anxiety?”

There isn’t anything necessarily wrong with any of these questions. However, anyone asking questions only concerned with the final destination is going to have a very hard time reaching it if they do not understand where the starting point is located. Let me explain.

If I wanted to travel to New York City, what is the first bit of information I must have before attempting my journey? A starting point! If I don’t have a starting point, how will I know if I am to travel east, west, north, or south? How would I know how long the journey would be? How could I properly plan for food, clothing, and other essentials if I didn’t know how far I was from my destination? You and I must have a starting point before we can travel intelligently. The same is true with the healing journey to purity.

You know where you want to go: daily freedom from lust and deepening intimacy with God. What you are probably not as familiar with is where you are currently. You know what behaviors or thoughts you struggle with, but what about deep emotional scars from wounds you suffered years ago as a kid? What about the simmering anger that bubbles just below the surface that confuses and frustrates you? What role does it (or fear, anxiety, pride) play in your ongoing imprisonment to lust, shame, and sexual acting out? How well do you know the emotional or physical triggers that ignite your lustful passions to want to act out? These are the real questions of exploration, and they will help you locate your starting point for the journey. Without knowing your starting point you are destined to wander aimlessly in search of a place you may never arrive.

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I would love to hear your thoughts and comments. You may email me directly at jonathan@bebroken.com.