When the Walls Cave In...

I just received a phone call that no one wants to get. A call from jail.

Over the years in ministry I have seen hundreds of men come and go through our purity groups. These groups are designed to help men who struggle with sexual lust to learn to fight temptation with truth and accountability. We sharpen one another through Bible study, confession, and encouragement. These are the trenches where mighty men of valor and character are formed. But not everyone stays in the trenches.

The man who called me had left the trench of our group over a year ago. We don't usually chase after men if they choose to go because we understand the important dynamic of a man truly owning his problem and taking full responsibility for his recovery. So, several weeks passed and he didn't return. I would occasionally see him around town and ask how he was doing, to which I would get the courteous reply, "Fine." I never pressed for more.

Here I was today, working on wrapping up another week of ministry and the phone rang. Not my work phone, but rather my personal cell phone. It was a number I didn't recognize, which usually means I don't answer. But for some reason I decided to pick up the call. And then the shock came.

"Hey, Jonathan, this is ______ _______. Do you remember me?"

"The name sounds familiar," I said.

"I used to go to the group every week and kind of dropped out. Well, I'm calling because...well, I've hit bottom. I'm calling you from the local jail. I just got arrested for...."

His voice trails off in my mind as I scramble for words. My emotions are swinging wildly from side to side; compassion to anger, forgiveness to judgment, certainty of advice to feelings of inadequacy. I rarely encounter this level of consequence in the men with to whom I have personally ministered.

I try to process this information and put myself in his shoes. How would my wife respond? What about the kids? How would this effect my church, my work, my extended family? The weight of such questions and thoughts causes my heart to break for this man.

"Can you come pick me up after I see the judge?" he asks. "I don't think my wife is in any condition to deal with this right now."

I agree to do what I can to help him in this time of need. Even though his destruction has been brought on by his own hand I know that when the walls cave in it is not the time to heap more rubbish on the pile. The power to change a life comes through grace and mercy, not judgment and cruelty. (James 2:12-13)

I hang up the phone and whisper a prayer for my brother. I am sad our reunion was not pleasant. But I am grateful that God was faithful to bring to his attention the things that he must address in his life. Even if it takes a jail cell to awaken such understanding.

Please pray with me for this friend. He could use the support...

Once again humbled,

jonathan