God is big enough!

Isaiah 40:12-14 - "Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance? Who has understood the mind of the Lord, or instructed him as his counselor? Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way? Who was it that taught him knowledge or showed him the path of understanding?"

I get overwhelmed by life sometimes. Family struggles, financial stress, and the uncertainty of future circumstances have a way of distracting me. It often feels like the walls of life are collapsing in on me from all sides and I can't seem to breathe. I see pain, sin, confusion, and disappointment. They rush in uninvited, seeking to steal my faith in God. I must admit, sometimes they succeed.

I was reminded today in Isaiah 40 that God is big enough to keep His promises in spite of my minute, albeit stressful, circumstances. God is beyond the borders of my imagination, yet as intimate in my life as the breath that sustains me. He measures the universe with His hands and holds the dust of the earth in a basket. He is beyond understanding, beyond human wisdom, beyond being reduced to a size I can comprehend. And, quite frankly, I find comfort in knowing that all I face in life is smaller than God.

It's hard to grasp an infinite God. But then when has God ever said that He intended for me to grasp Him? He says to worship Him, fear Him, obey Him, and trust Him. But grasp Him? That can never be my purpose for it is impossible.

I am small, containable. He is awesome and uncontainable.
I am predictible, even to the point of being sadly comical. God is wild, full of adventure and unsearchable.
I am broken, marred by sin's foul imprint. God is holy, perfect in every way.

I am not to grasp the holy God. I am, however, called to bow, tremble, and trust Him.

The great news about God is that although He is beyond our ability to contain Him, He chooses to give us everything we need for life and godliness in Christ Jesus. In His love and grace, "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." He knows we are weak, broken, and sinful. "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who HOPE in the Lord will renew their strength." The "bigness" of God is only surpassed by His goodness. He is good through and through, full of grace and mercy.

I'm thankful God is big enough. I just need to be reminded every now and again...

In awe of our big God,

jonathan

I persist to develop holy habits

What really is the point of persistence in the face of ongoing struggles? Is it just to endure more pain and agony? Is it to storehouse pride so when I "arrive" I can boast in my longsuffering? Why press on when the certainty of facing additional obstacles lies ahead?

Persistence is the pathway to holiness. Too many times I catch myself believing that my position of Christianity affords me leisurely access to righteousness and purity. Then I am jarred awake from my fantasy by the onslaught of pain, struggle, and confusion life is certain to bring. And I realize I must persist if I expect to reap the fruit of holiness in my life.

Pressing on in the face of difficult circumstances is a key attribute of becoming more like Christ. Of all the human beings that existed, Jesus Christ displayed endurance and persistence uparalleled by the rest of humanity. Beaten, spat upon, flesh ripped from his body - all for offenses He did not commit. And then the ultimate rejection. God, the Father, turned His head as the Son of God bore alone the weight of all our sin. Unbearable pain such as this would cause the strongest men we know to throw in the towel long before even reaching the cross. Yet, Jesus persisted. And what was His gain? He is seated at the right hand of God, and one day every knee will bow and tongue confess that He is LORD.

So, what's in it for me if I cultivate an attitude of persistence? First, I grow in intimacy with God, for I am becoming more like His Son. The ultimate desire God has for my life is not my personal satisfaction but rather to see an ever-brighter reflection of Himself in me. He must increase, I must decrease. It takes persistence to overcome the natural tendency toward pride.

Another great benefit I gain when I learn to persist is that I am storing up a great wealth of treasure in heaven that cannot be lost, stolen, or destroyed. Jesus promises that those who share in His suffering will also share in His glory. To endure through ridicule, rejection, and persecution is to invest in eternal glory.

I get tired sometimes, just as you do. I wake up some days without energy, enthusiasm, or even faith. I grow weary of battling the same temptations and lusts. But I remember the goal of my life and as I look in the mirror I pray that I will see more of Jesus and less of me.

Persisting,

jonathan

Humility

Psalm 145:14 - "The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down."

We live in a me-first-climb-to-the-top-at-any-expense culture. We want instant gratification and all our problems to be solved in less than 30 minutes (just like on TV). We complain when our microwave dinner takes five minutes instead of three, and truly believe that our needs are what is most important in life. How tragically far we have fallen...

Despite our mad dash to the finish line of human achievement, we come up short - way short. We are more stressed, more worried, more tired, and just more everything - except more satisfied. We are less satisfied than ever. In our own efforts we continue to fail, falling face first into the heap of lost dreams and discontent. Where is our hope? What can be done to live a truly content life?

Did you know that our repeated failures are no surprise to God? In spite of what some of us may feel, God did not cast His gaze upon us today and upon seeing our most recent misstep gasp in astonishment as if He didn't know we were capable of falling. He KNOWS we fall. In fact, because we are prone to fall He provided salvation through faith in Jesus Christ. And He gives us a way to be restored to honor in His presence through adopting an attitude of humility.

Humility is the key to unlocking intimacy with God. Only the humble in heart are allowed into the inner sanctuary of fellowship with the Creator. He reserves a special honor for those whose heart is bowed down before Him. What a privilege to know that as we "draw near to God, He will draw near to [us]." But what a challenge it is to focus heart and mind on bowing down. This takes time, silence, patience, and stillness. We must saturate our minds with the truth of God's Word and listen to His still, small voice inviting us ever closer to His radiant presence.

As you find yourself encased in the pounding urgency of the rat race, I invite you to take a moment to bow down before your Maker. And when you fall, be encouraged that God sees beyond your failures and looks upon your heart. If your heart is bowed down before Him, He promises to raise you up.

Bowed low,

jonathan

I have hurt my spouse...

It's hard enough to confess to the pain my sin has produced in my own life. It is an entirely different agony to confess I have wounded my spouse. I would rather take all the punishment on my own shoulders rather than admit she bears the blows of my self-centeredness as well. But such confession must be reached if I am to be the man of God He envisions me to be.

I think one of the reasons it is so hard for me to admit I have hurt my spouse is because it means I'm not the knight in shining armor mounted on the white horse coming to her rescue. Instead, I must confess my weaknesses, fears, and selfishness. But in my pride I often attempt to "act" in ways I believe she would expect - noble, heroic, confident. Underneath this thin facade, however, is often a trembling, confused, larger-than-life scaredy-cat desperately praying she won't learn I am a fraud.

There is wonderful news, however, in regard to confessing the wounds I have caused in my spouse. One benefit is that nothing remains hidden. I can throw away all the masks hiding my fears and flaws. And since my spouse has stuck around after seeing the "real me" I can also breathe a sigh of relief, finally aware that my fears of rejection or abandonment were unfounded - she really does love me!

A second benefit to confessing the ways I have hurt my spouse is that I can now lead her fearlessly to the One capable of meeting all her felt and unfelt needs: Jesus Christ. I don't have to pretend that I can be her savior. I can rest in the assurance that as I point her to Christ she will become my cherished companion and lover - the mate I always dreamed of. She is then free and confident to be herself before me, knowing that Christ is her refuge and strength. We truly become one.

As difficult as it is to admit fault in inflicting emotional scars on my wife, it frees me (and her) to enjoy the gift of grace and embark on the always adventurous journey of love.

Risking to journey,

jonathan

Integrity

Integrity is doing the right thing in the absence of an audience.

I find it fascinating how often my actions do not represent what I truly believe in my heart. I may act one way when engaged with clients at work, yet find myself interacting differently when dealing with my children. And then there are the times when I am completely alone. Well, at least I think I am alone. How do I act then?

Consistently living out what I believe is the ultimate challenge I face in my life. Occasionally, I succeed. More often I present like a ping-pong ball, bouncing from convenience to convenience. You see, it's tough to be consistent. Not because it requires any great skill, but because it demands sacrifice. Integrity insists that I reflect God's character in my life regardless of circumstance. This inevitably produces discomfort, even ridicule and suffering at times.

God is teaching me the great benefit of integrity. I believe the return on the investment of integrity is peace. The greatest desire for most of us is peace, true satisfaction in life. Peace means I never have to look over my shoulder. Peace means I can face the consequences of honesty with confidence. Peace means no fear of what men can do to me. Peace means I can smile, and mean it.

But to harvest peace I must sow integrity. There really isn't any way around it. It takes commitment and consistency. It requires toiling in the soil of circumstance, faithfully planting seeds of righteousness. And when the crop yields its fruit there is no adequate description for the sweet flavor of peace and contentment - it reaches the depths of the soul.

So, I sit here alone. No audience to impress. No eyes to engage. But it is this soil of solitude that tests my resolve to choose integrity. I thank God for putting my hand to the plow.

Waiting for the harvest,

jonathan

The verge of a miracle...

Nothing "fires me up" quite like seeing the enemy of our souls attempting to thwart the great miracles of God in our lives. Such is happening this week in the lives of some dear friends. This couple has faced more than their share of trials. And here they stand on the verge of a miracle so astonishing only God could claim ownership. Yet, they are faced with obstacles.

Sometimes I wonder why God allows such painfully trying circumstances to riddle my already confusing, and so much less than consistent, life. Sharing in my friends' pain this week has caused me to rewind in my mind back to my own obstacles when faced with a similar miracle. The year was 1998 and I was on the tail end of a 13-year addiction to pornography and sex. My addiction left me alone, afraid, feeling hopeless. I was separated from my wife with no prospect of restoration. Yet, a miracle was in the making.

Some miracles appear more amazing than others. The miracle of Christ raising Lazarus from the dead seems to impress us more profoundly than the daily miracle of God raising the sun to its proud post in the heavenlies. Both are miracles, yet one seems to magnify God's power and might in a way that cuts through to our hearts and even storms the gates of hell itself. Such was the miracle I was soon to face.

God put back the peices of my broken, shattered marriage. One by one He restored trust, faith and transparency, giving my marriage something it never had before: hope and purpose. And that is a miracle! But I never would have experienced this miracle if I hadn't received it. God offered it, orchestrated circumstances and countless other intangibles. But just as His grace is freely available to all, not all will enjoy the freedom, peace, and power it provides because they refuse to receive it. My miracle waited. And I took it.

An amazing phenomenon occurred when God performed this miracle in my marriage. Sexual temptation increased. My mind began racing with fears and doubts. Mood swings were on the rise. Arguments, misunderstandings, and difficulty communicating clearly were regular obstacles to embracing this wonderful gift of reconciliation God was offering. I quickly realized that God's desire was to bestoy such an unbelievable, outstanding blessing in my life so as to cement in my mind that in the same way I had no power to produce such a reconciliation with my wife, it was also not going to be by my power that these obstacles to our reunion were overcome. God was using a miracle to teach me greater dependence on HIM.

I am praying for my friends. They stand at a great crossroads - step forward in faith to encounter inevitable obstacles and receive God's miracle, or shrink back in fear and remain unharmed by the obstacles of faith, but joyless on the journey. It is no easy thing being on the verge of a miracle...but it beats being anywhere else.

Thankful for the Miracle Maker,

jonathan

I have hurt myself

You know, it's tough to admit doing stupid things. It's even tougher when the target of my stupidity is me! I believe that many times I deceive myself by thinking I haven't hurt myself as badly as I really have. I may say (in my deception), "It's really not that bad" or (in my pride), "I can take it." But the truth is I've hurt myself.

We all hurt ourselves at one point or another. We lash out at our sinful thoughts and actions. We may develop addictive patterns that wound emotionally or physically. We even beat ourselves up for missing opportunities to do good. Sometimes our worst enemy is staring back at us in the mirror. How can we live in peace, freedom, and grace? How do we move from self-abuse to self-esteem? The same way we originally came to Christ: humbly.

I remained in my self-abusive state for 13 years, enslaved to a sexual addiction. I was freed when (among other things) I acknowledged my self-inflicted wounds. It's been tough to look at myself sometimes. There are blemishes, scars, seeping wounds, many of which placed there by my own hands. When I cried out for relief, for help, I hastily passed over the grace I needed to offer myself. I was quick to receive God's grace and love, but slow, even stiffly reluctant, to accept forgiveness from myself. I expected God to free me, but my experience of His forgiveness reaches only as far as I am willing to forgive myself.

I know I've hurt myself through my sin and self-centeredness. But I also know that I can press on because when I acknowledge my true self before God I am cleansed, healed, and set free - truly free.

Look in the mirror. God forgave that person...will you?

Walking in grace,

jonathan