The Pity of Pretense

Very few people live unpretentious lives. I admit I am often one of them.

I walk around hiding various-sized secrets that have the potential to eat away at my life from the inside out. Like a worm to an apple my hidden thoughts and deeds weave their way toward my heart and nibble away at the core of my being. Most often it isn't "big" stuff that creeps in. A twinge of envy, a hint of pride, a dash of selfishness, all hidden safely behind the veneer of Christian piety. But the secrets cannot stay hidden forever.

I used to cringe in fear at the thought of having my heart exposed. The proposition of others seeing its potential for self-centered action was unbearable to me. But I'm changing. I realize that transparency, in all it's painful nakedness, is actually my greatest asset to being the man God wants me to be. It is in the light that I am walking closest to God. Sure it's tough to be exposed to the periodic shame and embarrassment of walking according to my flesh, but it is in such humility I am reminded of the precious, undeserved gift of God's grace and I am once again drawn to the Light.

I have to admit, living without pretense is also a great motivator to walk in purity and righteousness. After all, if all my secrets are out in the open I am much less inclined to add to their number for all the world to see. Transparency keeps me sharp and attentive to what I allow into my mind. Conversely, when I live secretively I am prone to spiritual laziness, not paying attention to the harmful thoughts and ideas swirling about.

It is sad to see so many walking in pretense, slowly suffocating in the darkness of their hidden lives. I pray that I will live my life as an open book, and in so doing draw out many who hunger for the peace and joy only found in the Light.

Seeking the Light,

jonathan

Grace or Guilt?

I must admit I have spent most of my life living out of guilt. I should be nice. I should read my Bible. I should be giving. The list goes on and on. The weight of this burden of guilt left me crushed, beat up, and full of despair. Every time I would lift my head to breathe in the fragrant winds of grace, guilt would quickly pull me back to its dungeon. Oh, how I longed to be free, to be light, to really live.

God has a way of wedging into our lives unannounced and often uninvited. Moments of divine appointment have come and gone in my life and I am left with one unmistakable impression from every such appointment - grace! For God to even desire my company is a testament to the far reaches of His unimaginable grace. His love rushes through the door of grace and gently taps on the door of my heart. He quietly, patiently waits. Then it happens. I see Him in the ordinary, mundane trenches of my life. I scratch my head in wonder, thinking, "Was He there before?" Lovingly, God assures me He never left and is grateful for my company, not because He needs anything from me, but because He knows how desperately I need Him.

Grace is changing me. I see it in my relationships. I am more patient, understanding, and quiet. Guilt demanded that I know all the answers. Grace assures me I am loved in spite of my ignorance. Guilt required that I behave a certain way to appear spiritual. Grace empowers me to uncover the secret places of my heart and change from the inside. Guilt crushed me in shame and despair. Grace leads me in love and hope. What a wonderful thing to embrace God's grace and break free from the shackles of guilt.

I am thankful for God's grace, not simply because my sins are forgiven but because by His grace I become a man after His own heart. What greater privilege and calling could there be in this life?

Amazed by grace,

jonathan

The Importance of Character

There is no greater discipline in this life than building godly character.

I am prone to physical, emotional, and spiritual laziness at times, as I'm sure some of you are also. Sometimes I just don't want to be humble, selfless, gentle, or kind. Developing godly character takes effort, focus, persistence, and time. And it flies in the face of all that my humanity desires. My flesh craves pleasure, comfort, and instant results. God desires faithfulness, obedience, and patience. What polar opposites!

There are great benefits to undertaking the discipline of building godly character. One thing I am noticing on my own journey toward such character is that my focus on sin and selfishness diminishes in proportion to the amount of time I spend pursuing the things of God. I simply cannot sin when I am consumed by God's presence. "He must increase, I must decrease."

Another great benefit of building godly character is that I truly become the man I always wanted to be. Honest, wise, patient, humble, gentle, kind, self-controlled, joyful - these are the qualities I want deeply rooted in the fiber of my being. Such qualities are staples of godly character.

Finally, as I allow God to mold His character into my life I realize His twofold purpose in doing so: 1) To bring glory and honor to His name, and 2) To lift me up as a trophy of HIS grace. The character God develops into my life is not merely for my benefit - that would be inefficient and narrow-minded. God wants to increase His glory and share His Good News with every person my life touches. What an honor and privilege to be part of such a process. It truly is humbling to imagine, but a high and glorious honor as well.

I pray that God will continue in His patience with me as I awkwardly move forward in cultivating His character. Sometimes I submit and reap the tremendous rewards of peace, joy, and honor that come with allowing God's truth to impact me where I live. Other times I selfishly attempt to make a go of my life in my own strength, only to suffer the inevitable consequences of frustration, shame, and pain. But thanks be to God for the power of His grace to take the most unlovely, hardened block of clay and mold it into a vessel for His use.

Being molded,

jonathan

New Year, New Opportunities...

It's a new year and with it comes multiple opportunities. There are opportunities to do what is right, and opportunities to do what is wrong. The choice is mine. Sometimes the weight of this burden bends me to the ground. Other times, like the start of a new year, this load is carried with enthusiasm and optimism. There is just something energizing about a fresh start.

One of my favorite Scripture passages is Lamentations 3:22-24, "The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh every day. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!'" (New Living Translation) What a promise each day brings forth of the goodness and mercy of God. With such a "fresh start" to each day it is a wonder sometimes why I am not enthusiastic and optimistic every moment of every day.

But I need reminders...often. Daily, in fact. Many times I am slow to remember the mercies of God, choosing instead to focus my attention on the miseries of this world. I might disconnect from people, retreat to the comfort of my selfish aloneness, and seek to satisfy the deep hunger of my heart. Thankfully, God is faithful to lift my head and heart out of the enticing lures of this world and set my attention squarely on the truth, the truth that reminds me, "Yea, but by the grace (and mercy) of God go I." He sustains me, rescues me, protects me, and guides me - often unbeknownst to even me!

This year will be filled with innumerable opportunities. Thanks be to God that His mercy endures forever, His faithfulness is great, and in Him I find the hope to seize this day.

Seeking opportunities to do good,

jonathan