A Heart that Smiles...

Have you thought about how you want to be remembered? I have. But sometimes it's tough to narrow it down to a simple statement. I think most of us want to be remembered for a lot of things, even though many of us may not be remembered for one. After all, how many folks are ever remembered beyond one or two generations? Regardless, I have pondered what legacy I wish to leave, and it is this:

I want to be remembered by the joy of the Lord in my heart. In other words, I want people to remember me for a heart that smiled.

There isn't much in this world that makes a heart smile. Even the best of moments leave us searching for more. Falling in love, the birth of a child, or accomplishing a long sought-after goal. These are all wonderful experiences, but as powerful as they may be they still leave us craving. This hunger is only satisfied in the person of Jesus Christ. He alone satisfies this longing, or emptiness, that remains. And it is only in Him that we experience a joy that makes life complete.

I find it simply amazing how much complaining I do. (It's embarrassing to admit such a fault) Most of it is silent, only spoken to myself in my mind. But nonetheless, it is bothersome. I might fuss about a certain comment someone makes to me or a loved one, or maybe a certain event didn't turn out how I wanted so I throw an adult-sized fit. And yet in the midst of my self-centered tantrum I am quickly reminded that I possess the greatest treasure one could be given: fellowship with God. This reminder melts away my pride and restores me to my senses. Whatever the grievance, it is insignificant in comparison to the surpassing excellence of knowing God. What could compete with such riches? This is the truth that produces a joy indescribable. And, thus, a heart that smiles.

As a Christian, should I wish to be remembered for something more "spiritual" or "deep?" Maybe. But if I strive for such a legacy, without forming a smiling heart, chances are I wouldn't be remembered at all...

Working on my smile,

jonathan

The Gift of Mercy

God's mercy amazes me. That is, when I'm aware of it. You see, many days I simply glide through life completely oblivious to the wonders of God's mercy. Behind the scenes, most often without my knowledge, God is moving. He protects me by moving me or moving my circumstances. Why? Because He loves me like no one else can.

Recently, a new wrinkle in God's mercy has been revealed to me. Not that it is really anything new, but my recognition of it is fresh. I am seeing anew that God, in His mercy, regularly protects me from, well... me.

My flesh is capable of whatever evil I can imagine. Lies, greed, pride, even murder. My main struggle, however, is with lust. My flesh wants me to fantasize about women who are not my wife. Obviously, such a sin is not healthy for me and only leads me to disconnect and isolate from relationships. In other words, "...the wages of sin is death." Now, apart from God, I deserve such an extreme consequence (death) for my sin. But Jesus said that He came to give me LIFE. This is where God's mercy comes in.

Many times when I am tempted to go down that familiar path of lust in my mind, God intervenes with a "way of escape." (1 Cor. 10:13) This is His mercy stepping in and protecting me from the inevitable consequences of my sin. He is reminding me that the price Jesus paid was not in vain and that I can experience abundant life in Him.

As amazing as God's mercy is, I am sometimes more amazed (or perplexed) at how often I am the stumbling block to my own growth. I would like to blame the devil, or the world, or the media. But when I look at myself in the mirror I see a child of God clothed in human flesh. And it is my very own flesh that is the most challenging obstacle I face. But praise be to God that the victory for my soul has been won by Jesus Christ, and that one day I will shed this foul garment of flesh and be forever robed in the radiance of God's glory! What a day that will be. A day for rejoicing at the mercy of God in my life...

Humbled by Mercy,

jonathan

The Joy in Trials?

I've been studying the book of James lately. Well, more reading and re-reading than actual "study." But God seems to speak most personally to me when I just commit to meditating on various sections of Scripture. One such portion I have pondered recently is James 1:2 - "Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy." (NLT)

Trials as opportunities for joy. Hmm. I scratch my head and read the passage again. I know what trials are. Difficult situations. Angry people. Tragic accidents or illnesses. These inevitable circumstances of life are what most often produce confusion, stress, and despair. Yet, God wants me to count them as opportunities for joy? I have spent much time pondering such an imponderable.

But then I read on in James and an illumination like that of the early dawn light begins to expose the gem of truth in this mysterious principle. Verses 3-4 state, "For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything." (NLT) Aha! It's beginning to make more sense. There is a greater purpose to the trials I face than simply blocking my vision. God wants to build something in me: character.

Intellectually I know that God always has a purpose for the difficulties I face. But, frankly, sometimes the trials just feel like a lot of bad luck or useless inconveniences. It's one thing to look back on troubles and say, "Oh, now I see why I had to endure that!" But when the trial is front-and-center-stare-you-in-the-face-without-blinking, it's a whole other ball game. It isn't as easy to see the purpose. And sometimes God doesn't even show me the purpose even after the dust has settled. But, then again, that's not His ultimate goal in "testing my faith." He wants something greater than an academic knowledge of why I faced this or that trial. He wants to weave the very character of His Son, Jesus Christ, into the fabric of my soul. And that takes time, testing, and trials.

So, what about joy? Where does that fit in with all this testing? I think it fits in with adopting the same attitude Christ had when facing the ultimate trial, the cross. Hebrews 12:2 exhorts us, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." (NIV) The joy I can experience in the face of trials comes from having a proper focus in the midst of such turmoil. While circumstances swirl about me, attempting to steal my joy, I can overcome such distractions by standing firmly on the truth that God's victory is sure, complete, and finished. There are no more battles, or trials, I could face that can overcome the power and grace of God. So, I press on confidently, and with joy, in the face of trials, knowing that the Author of my faith has blazed the trail and can lead me through.

This is a tough pill of truth to swallow because it means I must accept the fact that I WILL face trials in my life (even as a Christian). But as I read and re-read this passage I am reminded of God's great love and care for me. Who else would go to the trouble to ensure I develop strong, weathered character?

Reading and pondering,

jonathan

Why I'm So Afraid...

God has been peeling back the many layers of my pride lately. Just last week the corner of one such layer was curled up to reveal the rotten stench of a false belief I have held close for nearly 25 years. What is this foul belief? I have believed that life should come easily and that I am entitled to happiness, comfort, and peace.

At first glance I think most folks might chuckle and say, "What's wrong with wanting happiness, comfort, and peace?" And I would have to confess that there is nothing wrong with such desires. But that's not what is at issue here. The issue is that I have believed I deserved it all. In ever so subtle ways I have lived many years of my life charming, manipulating, even 'evangelizing' those around me in order to adhere to this belief system.

As most of you already know, life has a way of kicking our teeth in at times without so much as batting an eyelash or even taking notice of whose life is being painfully altered. But even as the face of my life has been bashed time and again by the realities of living in a sin-infested world, I plow forward in my furrows of prideful beliefs. I get stuck on a rock or root of truth, and rather than allow that to turn me in a new direction where real growth and fruit can be produced, I twist, cut, and crash my way through as though I actually know what is best!

I confess this layer of pride has been firmly sealed for many years. And as God has given me a small peek into the destruction and rottenness it has produced in my beliefs, I am truly humbled (embarrassed, actually) by the mercy and persistence of God in my life. I realize in such moments why He refers to me as His child - because I am thinking and acting in a childlike manner; proud and selfish.

The truth is I am relieved to see afresh this very ugly part of my life. It reminds me how broken I truly am and how desperately I need the grace of God. I am also thankful. After all, God doesn't have to be so merciful and kind to me. He knows how proud, self-centered, and even rebellious I can be. Yet He pursues me, always reminding me of my value and worth before Him. I don't deserve such love. And that truth brings me to my knees, confessing my false belief of entitlement that robs me of the deep intimacy God desires with me. Oh, that I would willingly rip up the stale, dingy layers of pride and let the cleansing grace of God wash me anew with humility, peace, and love.

Peeling back my pride,

jonathan