The Seven Year Itch...is Gone!

This month marks the 7-year anniversary of my "new" marriage. Although my wife, Elaine, and I have been married since 1995, it was only since 2000 that our lives have been free from my sexually addictive behaviors. In 2000, we held a small ceremony (immediate family only) to celebrate the reunion of our lives after a nine month separation. This was an amazing miracle that can only be explained by the grace, mercy, and power of God. We are grateful for His amazing desire to mend our broken lives, and restore our shattered marriage.

Some of you may have heard the old saying about the "seven year itch" that occurs in a marriage. This is when a couple gets in a sort of "rut" in their relationship, the fires of passion cool, and there is a type of restlessness that sets in, possibly causing one or both to seek something new outside the marriage. Well, this is the seven year mark for our new marriage, and I can safely say that the "itch" is gone. In fact, I didn't even feel so much as a hint of an itch. I have grown completely satisfied in the marriage God has graciously restored. Elaine is a delight to know, and completes me in a way no other person could.

I spent the first four plus years of our marriage thinking that satisfaction could only be gained through sexual exploration outside my marriage. I felt trapped in marriage, and believed that the only pathway to relief was through illicit sex. I have come full circle, realizing that what I was seeking all along was directly in front of me. My dissatisfaction ultimately had little to do with Elaine, but everything to do with my own self-hatred and shame. I am thankful for a wife full of grace and forgiveness. And I am also grateful that I have had the opportunity to learn what true intimacy can be like. I know I don't deserve such love, but I'm certainly not going to refuse it now that it has been given!

Are you feeling an "itch" in your marriage? Don't try to relieve it through your own wisdom or secret behaviors. Ask God to scratch your irritated marriage, and stop looking out the window for your answer. The answer is probably staring across the breakfast table...

Satisfied in love,

jonathan