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The devil isn't creative, just persistent... ---------- I have come into contact with thousands of sex addicts over the years. I myself was bound up in sexual addiction for 13 years. In all my interactions with the issue of sexual lust, I have come to realize one fundamental characteristic that is common to its nature: lies. There is never one moment in which lust tells you the truth. And it is this key insight that can actually help you break free from the chains of lust...for good. In this brief article I want to share with you some of the primary lies that your lust will tell you. These probably won't shock you (especially if you've been believing them), but my hope is that by exposing them you will become more aware of the moments in which you are drifting toward their appeals and take the corrective action to flee to the shelter of truth. Lie #1: Lust will bring contentment The bedrock of the lies of lust rests on the idea that God, and whatever he can offer, just isn't enough. This is the lie that ultimately led to the original sin. When Satan tempted Eve in the garden, he planted the seed of doubt in her mind that God was not actually good and not all that she needed to be content. He enticed her mind to begin entertaining thoughts that God was withholding something from her that she needed. This seed of doubt traveled from her mind to her will, eventually appealing its case to her senses when she "saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye." This captures the moment when lust was born in the heart of mankind. This lust has burned in our sin nature from the very beginning of the fall. And the enemy has used this greatly to his advantage when it comes to sexual lust. Our sexual lust is aroused whenever it reaches the line dividing what God has said is right and pure for our minds and bodies and what sin demands in opposition. We hear the whispers of the father of lies telling us that God is restrictive in his requirements regarding our sexuality, and that the fruit of our lust will complete us and make us whole, fulfilling our truest, deepest desires. When we begin to spin these lies in our mind, it isn't a far journey to looking and seeing that such forbidden fruit is "pleasing to the eye." Lust, however, only produces more discontent. Lust is perpetually dissatisfied. That is the nature of lust, constantly demanding more, promising that what is just outside your reach is what will ultimately satisfy. But each time you believe the lie, you are left craving more because you came up terribly empty. Lust never satisfies...never. Lie #2: Lust will not hurt anyone "Harmless fun." This is what we are led to believe when we begin to listen to the lies of lust. Even as our discontent grows and the evidence mounts that lust can't give us what we need, we dive in deeper because we are certain that we aren't hurting anyone. After all, what you do in the dark when no one is looking can't possibly affect others, right? Wrong! Pornography is the most common avenue by which this "lust-won't-hurt-anyone" thinking derives. Millions of men (and women) each week gaze lustfully at the nude images portrayed through porn and quietly tell themselves, "I'm not hurting anyone. These are just pictures. It's not like I'm actually having an affair or fornicating." Have you ever stopped for just a brief moment and given a thought about the women (or men) in the porn? That is somebody's daughter or son. That is a REAL person being abused through the exploitation of the body God fashioned around their soul. They are made in the image of God and they are being hurt. Lust lies when it deceives you into thinking that it doesn't hurt anyone. Lie #3: Lust will enhance your sexual relationship Welcome to 21st century broadcast television and the dysfunctional world of Hollywood! The sexual message espoused by the media and our culture is this: monogamous sex in marriage isn't enough. And our flesh craves this lie of lust. Countless couples, whether married or not, believe that bringing porn or some other sexually stimulating material into their bedroom will enhance their relationship. But the fundamentals of lust's deception don't change. Adding to God's design will never cause improvement. The design God established for sex (one man with one woman in covenant marriage) was designed perfectly. It cannot be enhanced, improved upon, or added to. Whenever we try to improve what God has already declared good, we most certainly have entered into the realm of deception and sin. The sadness of this lie of lust is that it causes individuals to believe that sex is merely a physical act, devoid of true intimacy and attachment. But sex is more than a physical act. It is emotional, spiritual, and even a bit mysterious. God made it this way because sex was to be a picture of the depth of intimacy we could share in our relationship with him. It is deeply personal, uniquely vulnerable, and permanently bonding. To believe that sex is just bodies connecting is to miss the whole point. And that's exactly what lust desires. God, however, desires that we live free from the suffocating chains of our lust. He also provides the means by which we can live such a life of freedom. Jesus promised that after his resurrection and ascension into heaven that he would send a helper, his Holy Spirit, and that he would lead us into all truth. As a believer in Jesus, we have the Holy Spirit in us and therefore we have the power to live free from the lies of lust. We are even promised in Galatians 5:16 that as we "live by the Spirit... you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature." As we grow in our dependence on God's Holy Spirit to life his life through us, we are promised that lust will not dominate us. With such a great promise given to us, we would do well to focus our attention on what it means to "live by the Spirit." And thankfully, God doesn't make that complicated for us. To live by the Spirit is to know Truth (i.e. Jesus) and follow him (John 8). Knowing truth comes by knowing the Word of God, and interacting with him through prayer. Moment by moment we live connected to our Creator, through faith in Jesus, so that his life may live through us. This is living by the Spirit. And it is pure peace, comfort and joy! 
1 Comment
I am blessed
5/22/2017 12:18:24 pm
In 2006 I found myself hopelessly addicted to porn. What had started w an occasional indulgence 4 yrs earlier, grew into a horrible addiction of viewing porn videos three or more times a day. I was no different than a pill junkie or a heroin addict, enslaved to the rush of dopamine I felt during each indulgence which numbed the state of pain and rejection I felt from an abusive marriage. My wife was not a bad person, but she was deeply scarred from the callous rejection of her father and her horribly dysfunctional chaotic childhood and would take it out on me. Every time she verbally attacked and abused me, the craving for porn was like a junkie craving a shot of heroin to relieve the withdrawal symptoms. In the early stages of my addiction, in my anger and bitterness I justified it. I sinfully reasoned that if she was going to reject me sexually then why not? After all, it was only porn and not physical adultery. But time went on and I went deeper into my sin, flirting w women, visiting strip clubs and entertained the idea of hooking up w interested women or even visiting a prostitute, it became harder and harder to justify what I was doing. It has been often said that sin will take you further than you wanted to go and keep you longer than you wanted to stay. This is what was happening to me. I was also experiencing an incredible amount of guilt, shame and demonic oppression. The warnings I was getting from God also began to become much stronger. I knew that if I didn't come clean and repent, something severe was about to happen. What it was I didn't know - perhaps an adulterous affair, an STD - who knows? But I knew that didn't want to find out. Committing adultery in my heart over and over was bad enough, but I DID NOT want to commit adultery w another woman. So I became desperate to be free but by now I had been so deeply enslaved to my sin mentally and emotionally, I just couldn't see how I could ever be free nor could I tell my wife. Considering the amount of anger and vitriol she already had towards me, I couldn't muster up anywhere near the courage and strength it would take to tell her what was going on. But as I went deeper and deeper into depravity, I just couldn't take the giant wall which my sin had created, separating me from God. My life had become a big lie; I was the upstanding man of God outwardly that everyone respected but inwardly I had become another person who was on a hellish pathway to becoming a perverted reprobate. But two things happened that became for me, God's exit ramp out of that torment - an answer to my desperate prayers. The first was that I came to absolutely HATE and DESPISE sexual sin. I hated it for what it was doing to me as well as the incredible amount of destruction it wreaked on the porn stars themselves which I began to read about. The second thing was that I CRIED OUT to God to OUT me. Since I didn't have the courage to tell my wife let alone anyone else, I begged God to expose my sin. A couple of weeks later my wife walked in on me when I was looking at porn. She was shocked, deeply hurt and frustrated but it was NO LONGER HIDDEN. I was so relieved! God had answered my prayers. I repented to her and agreed to go to my Pastor for counseling and accountability. He was awesome and recommended some books which I got and began to read in addition to meditating on scriptures which deal directly with resisting sexual temptation. God's grace met me quite powerfully and in a very wonderful way. You see God's grace isn't just unmerited favor. It's actually a Divine ability to do what you are powerless to do in and of yourself. The urges would still come at times and I had to resist them - even verbally renounce them but over time I got the victory! For the first year of this process - and overcoming porn is a process - I only looked at porn once. In the years that followed I would fall back into looking at it once in a while but the frequency was never as bad as before and became less and less as the years came and went. That's because God was slowly but steadily TRANSFORMING that part of my life. My wife ended up getting cancer in 2008 and passed away 6 yrs ago in 2011. Losing a spouse is one of the hardest things to go through in life and creates a huge void in your life. People - even believers sometimes fall into all kinds of sin after something like this happens because of the traumatic effect it has in their soul. This kind of emotional trauma DEMANDS relief and if you're not standing on the rock of Yeshua (Jesus) and His word you can be easily swept away. But I can joyfully report that as of this year 2017 I'm stronger than I've ever been for the Lord. I am FREE from porn and sexual sin! If you're where I was, don't give up! He loves you and HE WILL set you free. Just repent and go tell a mature spiritual leader who can pray for and counsel you. Leave a Reply. |
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